Coaching, Executive Presence
Ingrid Gudenas
The real cause of stage fright

When you Google, “How to handle stage fright”, you’ll find many strange suggestions, some  from very prestigious sources. I saw a video posted by a respected MBA program where the solution presented is finding a friendly face and only talking to them.  Audiences hate that. Another impressive source posted a video demonstrating “Power Poses” where you have one hand on your hip and another on a chair. Looks ridiculous when you actually do it. Another respected source recommended drinking orange juice. Makes me wonder if he has investments in the orange juice industry.

No mention of a root cause.

Coaching, Executive Presence
Ingrid Gudenas
The CEO dilemma of self vs mask

I’ve been asked to coach the CEO of a major global corporation.  Google his name and an abundance of videos pop up.  I’m watching portions of many of them to assess where I can help him.

This is a man who has been given so much advice on “how you need to come across”, it overwhelmed and finally drowned his soul.  Unfortunately, he listened to it. It led him into crafting this artificial persona. The persona he’s been told Wall Street and a faceless group of investors demands.

I’m seeing the superficial performance of a well-scripted theatrical role: “the successful CEO you should invest in.”

Coaching, Executive Presence
Ingrid Gudenas
When you need them to change

It all began when a re-organization thrust Olivia into a new department. She felt like a failure almost immediately.  

The people on the new team were openly hostile, smug, superior, stubborn, cold, uninviting, and often mean.

Olivia very badly wanted to blame them. 

But Olivia did something that most people don’t do when faced with a situation like this.

Coaching, Executive Presence
Ingrid Gudenas
The secret to everything

It was a virtual workshop on Causative Communication. On my screen were five beautiful faces. Each one of them representing a wonderful person in different countries across Europe.

Julien had just finished practicing presenting a proposal to sell the government of his country a new high-tech product. The others were watching.

Julien knew something was really different about the way he was communicating. He reached the end. Long pause and then he said, “That was Amazing! I never felt that before.”

4 heads nodded. They never had either.

Julien: “What was that?”

Coaching, Executive Presence
Ingrid Gudenas
The first step for crafting a compelling ...

When Jeffrey started his coaching three months ago, he knew something was off in the way that he was presenting. He said to me, “If I could be 10% of what my boss is as a presenter, I would feel like I achieved a big goal.”

The problem Jeffrey was having was a “There’s so much to say about this” problem.

When you feel like there’s so much to say, it’s easy to fall into the trap of talking too much. The audience completely disengages.

Coaching

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The art of knowing without seeing

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Alisa had an important presentation before our second Mastering Virtual Presentation Skills coaching session. She decided to try what she learned instead of her normal routine which is to look at her notes or her slides.

Afterward, Alisa made a brilliant observation, “The results exceeded expectations. Looking into the camera made me tune into their voices, how their voices sounded.”

I asked her, “What did the voices tell you?”

Alisa said, “I could tell they were warm, receptive, interested and engaged. I didn’t need to see their faces.”

Alisa is right. Human voices, when you really tune in, tell you everything.

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Managing 12 people in a heated debate

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Teams from three companies, different time zones, were coming together to discuss supplier issues. All three anticipating an unpleasant, contentious, argumentative, blaming, confrontational series of disagreements, punctuated by complete resistance on three sides.

Valerie, the vice president I’m coaching, was one of 12 people attending.

Valerie arrived to the meeting early. And did something no one had ever done before in their previous meetings: She turned on her camera.

As each person joined one by one, Valerie greeted them warmly and used the new skills we practiced in her coaching.

One by one, they all turn their cameras on and the next thing you know they were all talking warmly with each other. Like friends, actually.

And the meeting transformed into a collaboration.

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This never happens …

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Linda was given work that was beneath her capability. When she spoke up, she was dismissed. They gave a project that belonged to her to someone less qualified. No one would talk with her and her boss kept canceling their one-on-one meetings.

Everything about her was dark. She came across like doom and gloom combined with fear, resentment and blame.

Linda decided to find out what she was doing wrong that was causing her to fail, and to discover what she could do about it.

She transformed during the coaching. Every video showed dramatic progress. New strategies. New abilities. Real personal growth. She learned how to handle not just that situation, but any conversation, any communication challenge.

After using what she learned in our one-on-one coaching program, she became radiant and compelling. The people she works with changed from cold and hostile to warm and greatly appreciative.

They pushed her into a leadership position because they wanted her there. This never happens, ever.

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Being the seventh person

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Solomon Asch was a pioneer in Social Psychology. He designed and conducted a series of many experiments trying to understand individual judgment, including moral and ethical judgment, and the powers that, for better or worse, influence it.

The number of participants in the experiments varied, but often there were eight. One of them was always told they would be part of an experiment on visual judgment. This person believed the other seven people were told the same thing and were participating in the experiment on the same terms. What they didn’t know was that the other seven were all actors following a script.

It is stunning to realize that there was no instruction to conform given, suggested, or even implied. Not from the experimenter. Not from the other participants. The pressure and demand to conform came entirely and completely from the pressure the person put on themselves. They were their own executioner.

There are many, many situations in life in which each of us is the seventh person.

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Painting 2022 with your palette of dreams

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This week right now is for dreaming your 2022 into being.

2021 was all about What do I need to do to survive?

2022 does not have to be more of 2021. 2022 can go way beyond a survival endurance contest.

2022 can be about dreams that come true. Don’t look to the world for permission. There is no “Dream-Come-True Licensing Entity” that’s ever been any good.

You are your own licensing entity. You are the one who gives yourself a license to dream and to paint those dreams into reality, to make them come true. Or not.

Don’t limit your dreams by what other people dream.

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The tortured life of Senior Leadership

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Senior executives spend their days listening to endless proposals and briefings. They sit through so MANY presentations, it TORTURES them to listen to presenters who don’t get right to the point.

I’m sure you watch YouTube videos. Have you ever watched one that took a long time to get to the point? You know that feeling you got? Did you ever fast-forward hoping they would get to something good? Did you ever skip out before the end?

Senior executives LIVE with that feeling.

It’s torture. There’s no other word for it.

I’m sure they would wish for a remote control that could fast-forward. And they would use it liberally.

This is how to stand out from this crowd in your executive presentations:

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A night of goodness

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I love tomorrow’s holiday, a great tradition born on a chilly November night, exactly 400 years ago.

Dreamed into being in 1621 by a tough people after endless struggle through long periods of great hardship, tremendous hardship, more than we could ever imagine.

They sat down together as community, and enjoyed a moment of peace, for the simplest of purposes: to be grateful. Together.

Their hardships were not over. Far from over. This moment was no more than “a time out.”

It was a, “Let’s stop what we’re doing and create a night of goodness.”

It was also a perspective shift: “Let’s step back and admire what we’ve created amidst the swirling winds of adversity.”

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Executive presence doesn't work with training wheels

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Many executives who come to me for executive coaching come prepared with their word-for-word script.

What’s the problem with speaking from a script when you’re giving a presentation?

Well…what does a script say about your mindset? About your thoughts and feelings about yourself? Your feelings about the audience? About your true power?

Having a script sends out a lot of messaging about you that you might not want to be sending.

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