A well-loved and successful Vice President recently came to an in-person Causative Communications class we were delivering for their company to talk to the students about how she utilizes the skills she gained from our classes to create real success in her daily life and her career.
The students loved her talk. She was supposed to talk for about 20 minutes, but they were so enthralled it went on for about an hour and a half, with question after question, each followed by her giving them practical advice that inspired them. Their faces were glowing listening to her.
One question she was asked was, “How do you prepare for a challenging meeting or big presentation?” This was a particularly good question for her because she goes into many very difficult negotiations and conversations, as well as gives many important presentations.
Her answer was:
“Whenever I am going to have a critical conversation, I make sure I get rest, I eat well, I make sure I get proper sleep.
“Right before I go in, or before I go on stage, I need to be settled and calm. You’re learning a lot about how to ‘be comfortable’ in this class. That’s sometimes the hardest thing, learning to be comfortable. Once you do that, you can enjoy being with them.”
She’s right. It’s challenging for most people to be comfortable in a difficult situation. That’s why we spend some time on it in the class.
Many people think that “being comfortable” is something that “happens” to them. They’ll say that there are certain people and certain situations “that make me uncomfortable”. If you look at it that way, you’ll miss something important.
If you let the outside world determine whether or not you’re comfortable, you’re giving away your own control of yourself. You want it to be up to you. It’s a power you want to hold on to.
It’s a skill to CAUSE yourself to be comfortable in a difficult or stressful situation.
But the payoff is huge.
As this Vice President said, being comfortable allows you to begin to really connect with others, it empowers you to be fully present, and sets you up, best of all, to fully enjoy them. That’s liberating and really sets you up for deeply satisfying success.
This is a good thing to remember before a difficult conversation, or as stress and work pile up and deadlines are fast approaching. Especially if you start noticing you’re not “enjoying” life or the people around you.
Being comfortable starts with the decision that only you can make.
Being comfortable is not a reward you receive from the “outside,” it is a way of being that you cause that opens the door to extraordinary outcomes.
Be the cause!