Two months ago Linda couldn’t get a seat at the table, and now she is leading the team.
This doesn’t usually happen…ever.
A re-organization landed Linda in a new department and she felt like a failure almost immediately.
She was given work that was beneath her capability. When she spoke up, she was dismissed. They gave a project that belonged to her to someone less qualified. No one would talk with her and her boss kept canceling their one-on-one meetings.
Linda felt like she was being pushed out and was terrified that the way it was going, she was going to be let go.
None of her prior successes meant anything. None of her previous allies were there to help her.
Linda was alone.
This was Linda’s team: hostile, smug, superior, stubborn, cold, uninviting, mean.
Linda wanted to blame them.
But Linda did something that most people don’t do when faced with a situation like this.
She decided to find out what she was doing wrong that was causing her to fail, and to discover what she could do about it.
It’s very easy when you’re blaming others to put it all on them and to decide that there’s nothing you can do about it until they change. That makes whatever rotten condition you’re in permanent.
In our One-on-One Coaching Program, we create a scenario similar to the ones you’re facing to see how you’re dealing with challenges, your current strategy and level of skill. We video and assess you to determine what you’re doing well and what strategies and communication abilities you need to develop to remove barriers and create success.
Linda’s “Before” video was very revealing.
Linda thought she was masking her growing lack of confidence, her fear and resentment really well.
But she didn’t realize what most people don’t realize:
Everything comes out in your tone of voice and the way you look at people.
People think they’re hiding their feelings. Let me assure you, they’re not.
When we showed Linda her first video after she completed her coaching program, she was horrified.
She said, “I had no idea I looked like that or sounded like that.”
Everything about her was dark. She came across like doom and gloom combined with fear, resentment and blame.
So whenever she offered to contribute to a project, it came across horribly and people ran the other way, heading for the exit away from her as fast as they could.
Linda transformed during the coaching. Every video showed dramatic progress. New strategies. New abilities. Real personal growth. She learned how to handle not just that situation, but any conversation, any communication challenge.
She went from dark to radiant. She became beautiful, magnetic and compelling.
Then Linda went silent for 3 weeks. It turns out Linda’s success was on a trajectory that was beyond anything she imagined. She emailed us:
“When I watched the videos back of myself - WOW - my presence and demeanor have completely transformed through this process and I am truly amazed. I’m in a place to really excel now. Results were VERY FAST. I have literally gone from working at 25% capacity to 100% capacity as the key program I had shared with you has taken flight. Everyone is listening to me. I am fully in charge. The results are golden.”
As Linda became radiant and compelling, the people she works with changed from cold and hostile to warm and greatly appreciative. They pushed her into a leadership position because they wanted her there.
Transformation to a causative life starts with self-awareness. The journey begins when you decide not to fixate on what “they” are doing (that’s reactive, not causative), but instead when you listen to that little voice that says, “It doesn’t have to be this way. I can do something to change it.”
You change, they change. You transform, they transform.
People think they don’t have power, until they realize they have all the power.
Be the cause!