One of the Coaches that works with me has been an ETS Coach for many years. Everyone agrees that he is outstanding. He has coached individuals and executives from all over the world. We all get written evaluations after our Coaching. His have always been stellar.
About a year and a half ago, there was a HUGE change where his client evaluations took a sudden leap forward from “Outstanding” to something beyond the beyond. Clients were talking about him with extreme superlatives, literally over the moon.
I asked him, “What are you doing?” And this is what he told me. I think you will find this useful. It applies to all communications.
He said:
“I’ve always enjoyed people and coaching people, and I’ve always done myself what we’re teaching others to do because I believe in these skills and they’re a natural part of my life. But about a year and a half ago there was a big change point.
“I was doing everything that we teach, what I changed was the INTENSITY. I made a decision to increase it tremendously. I decided to experiment in one class by intensely focusing 100% of my attention on the students. Not just everyday 100%, but really intense 100%.
“I started to intensely be there, to feel intense affinity for the people I was coaching, to be intensely interested in them, to speak with intense intention, to coach with intensity, to listen with intensity, to give intense acknowledgments, to feel an intense desire for them to win.
“It wasn’t fake. What I feel for them and what I’m doing are genuine and real. I really feel that intense affinity for them. I want to stress that it’s genuine. But it's way beyond what I was doing before.
“I am also doing this EVERY second with no lapse. From even before I walk into the Coaching session through my follow-up with them after.
“This creates a real and immediate intensity in our relationship, even if I’m meeting them for the first time. It creates a genuine intensity in my coaching, a remarkable intensity in the positiveness of their response to me, and an incredible intensity in the results they’re getting and the wins they’re having.
“It’s self-perpetuating because every time I do it, I am getting overwhelmingly positive responses.
“It’s been blowing my students away. It’s been blowing me away. And my students are winning like never before.”
What he is saying is a recipe for success for anyone.
In the last group I coached, there was a big discussion in the group about how they were holding themselves back. They were “toning themselves down”. They were intense people afraid of being “intense”. Having coached tens of thousands of individuals and executives, I have observed that many people hold themselves back, and as a result, many people live half a life, not being all they are capable of.
What people don’t realize is that there are very specific elements of communication, specifically all the elements of the Communication Formula, that are not only essential, but operate BEST when they reach a certain level of intensity, when you’re “giving it your all” to these precise keys to successful communication. That’s when you make the breakthrough you’ve been looking for with all your communications.
This very perceptive ETS Coach also wrote me, “I have come to believe that this factor of intensity is what creates the perception of charisma.”
He’s right. I’ve seen it many times. It is the essence of a magnetic personality.
It’s not a personality trait. It’s a skill. And it’s one you can master.
This level of intensity is where life gets really good. Where you become truly causative. Where the results come easily and blow you away.
How to do this is what we demonstrate during Causative Communication training. You learn the key elements of communication so you no longer have to “hold yourself back.” If you want a more exhilarating life, this is the path to create that.
Just imagine what could be possible if you were able to fully be everything you’re capable of being? My hunch is that you’d be able to create just about any outcome you truly desire.
Be the cause!