The magic of the weird…

I just received an email from a recent student who wrote:

“I did your Causative Communication online training to learn how to handle difficult conversations. The weirdest thing happened. I’ve stopped having difficult conversations!!!  I haven’t had ANY since the training!”

Then she wrote two words that I’m very used to seeing in my inbox:

“It’s magic.”

Magic is when you produce a spectacular, even impossible, effect with very little effort, done so swiftly it’s invisible how you did it.

In difficult conversations, most people are used to expending a TREMENDOUS amount of effort and getting a mediocre or frustrating result.  So, what she’s describing IS magic.

The other word you see in her email above is one I’ve also gotten used to seeing and hearing from our students and clients:

Weird.

I hear this word a lot. At one point I joked I was going to call it Weird Communication, but I knew that unless someone’s done the training, they wouldn’t understand.

Let me explain why it’s weird.

I have another client who recently put all of our online training into their corporate catalog to make it available to 100,000 employees. She sat in to observe our first three training sessions to make sure they were going well.  A lot was at risk for her if they weren’t.

After the first session she said,

“That was weird. They were all paying attention.  That’s really weird for 6 hours of virtual training that they would pay attention the whole time.  What was even weirder was I was planning to multitask as I was listening and I couldn’t multitask.  I’m the world’s busiest multitasker and I just couldn’t do it. I found myself riveted and being attentive the whole time. That was really weird.”

After the second session she said,

“That was so weird.  I can’t believe how much people change in such a short period of time. It’s like they blossom before your eyes. They become compelling. You start to really LIKE them WAY more.  That’s weird to watch how they are at the beginning and how they are at the end, so different.”

After the third session she said,

“I know I keep saying the word “weird”, but it really IS weird. I’m watching these people transform in these workshops and you do it so quickly and so consistently, that’s so weird.”

Then I overheard her telling her boss, “These training programs are so good, they’re weird.”

She’s not the only one who’s used this word. I hear it often.  Almost as often as I hear the word magic.

When some says something is weird, they mean it’s really unexpected.  They mean it’s hard to believe.

I understand.  I know the world we live in. I know it well.

It’s a world where GREAT communication is weird. A world where creating a spectacular effect with very little effort is weird. Where a “normal person” being able to create consistent magic is weird.  Where having a great teacher and learning how to do it in such a short time is really weird.

It’s weird to suddenly have everything going exactly the way that you’d like.

It’s weird to suddenly have a great relationship with someone that you haven’t been getting along with.

It’s weird to suddenly be able to influence an entire organization.

It’s weird to tell your child to go to bed once and have them do it cheerfully and willingly.

It’s weird to present an idea and have it immediately accepted.

It’s weird to be alone in a room talking to a virtual audience that’s far away and be able to feel their energy coming back to you and know they are swept away and totally with you even though you can’t see them.

Great communication IS magic. Creating magic is weird.  Learning how to create magic is weird.  They’re all spectacular.  They’re all hard to believe.

Want to hear something really weird?  I looked up the derivation of the word weird (where it came from) and, get this, the word originally meant the power to control your fate or destiny.

That’s precisely what being CAUSATIVE is all about.  That’s precisely the PURPOSE of Causative Communication.

So, I guess in today’s world – that’s weird!

I personally don’t WANT to live in a world where great communication is weird.  I want to live in a world where BAD or frustrating communication is weird.  Where argument, misunderstanding, conflict, hostility, crushing disappointment, bitterness, not feeling heard, anxiety and fear are weird. 

That’s WHY I’ve chosen this path.  To help the world around me gain the REAL abilities needed to make magic happen.

I was grinning reading the email above.  Nothing makes me happier than to know someone came to me to learn how to handle difficult conversations (of which she had many prior to the training) only to find that, MAGICALLY, after the training she doesn’t have any.

This is what I have to say to her:

“Welcome to this new weird world. It’s so GOOD, it’s weird.  You have a magic wand in your hand called new communication ability.  I know you’re using it to make the world a better place and we are all grateful for it.  Continue on!”

Be the cause!

Subscribe to Causative Communication

Articles RSS

How to lead the invisible

Leader is not a title. You can’t get promoted into it.  And you can’t get demoted out of it.

Nelson Mandela was a great leader even when he was in jail.

I’m coaching many leaders, and many individuals with high potential for leadership.  As I watch them change, it’s clear that communication skill marks a leader.

Yes, you have to have good ideas.  But lead means cause to follow.  And people don’t follow good ideas poorly communicated.

For example, I’m coaching Steve, a new SVP of a major corporation.  Steve’s first day on the job was the first day his organization sheltered from home.  So he’s met no one in person. It’s all virtual.

Steve’s predecessor had been in the role many years and was well loved.  But the organization had gone stale. They were seriously falling behind others in their industry.  

Steve was hired to create breakthroughs. Not incremental change.  Breakthroughs.

Steve was very successful as a technical leader in another major, but smaller, high tech corporation. He had risen through the ranks and proven himself, both as a technical leader and as someone people could talk to, as trustworthy.

The problem was, it took years to warm up to him.  Mainly because his communication skills were those of someone who is, as he calls himself, a technical guy.  It’s one of the first things he told me, “I’m a technical guy.”

It was his way of saying, “I haven’t worried about my communication skills.”

Over time you learn that he is a GREAT technical guy who actually SHOULD lead because he has GREAT ideas, but it’s not something you see right away.

About a month after he started, the CEO asked Steve to present his strategy for the organization to the thousands who would be watching him virtually.

The reviews he received after this presentation were lukewarm.

Steve was the new leader of an organization that was uninspired, and even skeptical, about following him.  He desperately needed a breakthrough in their trust of, and enthusiasm for, his leadership to innovation.

Let me repeat this:  Steve has GREAT ideas.  But he did not get them across to the thousands of people watching him.

I watched him change as I coached him. 

I never coached him on the words he was using.  His words were fine.  I coached him on the RELATIONSHIP he built with his audience. 

Now, keep in mind, this was all VIRTUAL!  So this is an audience Steve has NEVER SEEN.  And it’s a LARGE audience.

I coached him on creating a strong CONNECTION with the audience and a powerful RAPPORT with them. 

Also on HOW to make eye contact with a virtual audience.  Everyone “knows” eye contact is important – but there are 1,000 different KINDS of eye contact.  You have to make the ONE kind that really matters.

And I coached him on how to make everyone feel like he was right there WITH them – in the SAME room – and feel like, “He is talking to me.” 

Steve just sent me the video of his most recent presentation.  He looks like a completely different person.  It’s powerful and compelling. 

The feedback Steve received on this last presentation was dramatically different from the first one.  Emails are flying through the organization by managers who had planned to work on their emails while listening to Steve’s presentation and they found it AMAZING (their words) – they were incapable of multi-tasking – they were riveted to watching and listening to him.

And (this is so politically incorrect), he looks really handsome in this one (don’t worry, he’s very happily married).  I just find the people I coach look more handsome and more beautiful when they become GREAT communicators. 

In short, Steve is now coming across as a LEADER.  It wouldn’t matter where you put him in the organization.  People will follow.

Great ideas + great communication skill = you’re effective.

Build the relationship with your audience.  Communicate exceptionally well. 

For decades, I have been on a mission to take will-be leaders like Steve and help them acquire the skills to fully step into that leadership position.

You’ll see the list of offerings below this message that we use to do that. If you see something that resonates with you, choose it.

Just remember this:

It doesn’t matter what your position is. If you learn to lead, others will follow. And when they do, you’ll KNOW you have just put yourself in a position to create powerful change.

Be the cause!

Subscribe to Causative Communication

Articles RSS

Virtual is REAL

I woke up this morning to an email from a recent student.  She just got promoted and could not be more excited.  She’s a Millennial.  It’s her first promotion.  She’s flying high.  Another student was promoted to SVP of a major Silicon Valley multinational corporation.  Someone took a screen shot of the joy in her face when she was told the news during a virtual staff meeting and this beautiful photo has been shared a thousand times.

My inbox is full of good news.  Some days I can’t even keep up with it.

I’ve been wanting to create online training for years.  My staff will tell you it’s been on my “goals for the year” for a loooong time.  I never had the time.  We were always so swamped with in-person clients, there wasn’t a moment to sit down and design training for a whole new medium.

And then “now” happened.  When I pulled the staff together and asked them what they thought about the situation, they didn’t even have to think.  They said, “Great opportunity to do what we’ve been wanting to do for years.”

And so we are. 

In the last several weeks we’ve built an online business overnight.  Everyone working overtime.  It’s going better than even we expected.

We’ve been overwhelmed by the client demand for this training.  It turns out we have people all over the country and the world who have been wanting to do our services, but weren’t able to travel or have us come there. 

We’ve trained hundreds of people in the last several weeks, WAY more than we were ever able to do in person, and the wins are pouring into my inbox more than ever.  I was delighted to discover that the amazing wins our clients have always had working with us in person also happen when they work with us virtually.  I can’t tell you how relieved I am!  I was worried the client wins would be less.  Not so!  Whew!

We were able to offer free webinars for several weeks.  But we’re now being asked to do so many sessions for individual corporations, we simply don’t have time to continue them at the moment. 

There’s one exception.  A number of organizations asked me to put something together specifically for engineers.  We have so many of them around us.  So you’ll see a free webinar just for them below (or for you if you are one!).

I’ve learned so much in the last several weeks.  Some I already knew, but it really came home to me seeing so many people win in such a short period of time:

When you have the ability to engage any audience or any individual and create a powerful impact when you’re virtual, there’s no one in the world you can’t reach. 

Despite what most people think, the word virtual does NOT mean, “Not there.” It means, “MAKE IT REAL.” The word virtual literally means, “Having the power of being real.” Even though it’s not actual, it is AS POWERFUL as if it were real.

That means your virtual presence should be as strong, powerful and real as if you were in the same room. It means your communication should be as strong, powerful and real as if you were right in front of their face. It means your impact needs to be REAL. That’s what the word “virtual” means.

When you can do that, no one tunes you out. No one multi-tasks. They listen. They get it. They respect you. They’re inspired. They buy-in. And, if you’re really good, they admire you.

That takes some serious skills.  They’re easy to learn. 

When it comes to communicating effectively, even very capable people are operating at less than 10% of their potential.  Bring out the other 90% of yourself.  It’s there waiting for you.  There’s nothing more thrilling.  You’ll fly high.

Don’t listen to feedback that’s not helpful. The only feedback you should listen to is feedback that gets you excited and makes you feel your true power is being released.

Find a good source to work with.  If you didn’t invent Jedi, you’ll need a Jedi Master to help you become Jedi.  You won’t figure Jedi out on your own.  Work with a Jedi Master and you’ll achieve extraordinary results so fast it’s exhilarating.

We’ve had many organizations have their folks do live group online training together.  It’s crazy awesome fun.  I’ve never seen groups have such a good time!  Learn new skills together and support each other and keep the skills alive when the training is over.

Possibly the most important thing I learned is that ALWAYS is a good time to develop your skills.  It’s always a good time.  You are alive and have goals that matter to you today.  Don’t back-burner your happiness.    

You are important to the world.  We need you.  We need to hear your voice.  We need you to win at the game of life.  Whatever way you do it, gain the communication skills you need so life is not directing you, but you are causing it to go the way you know it should.  We will all be happier because of it.

Be the cause!

Upcoming Online Services

NOTE:  Please check with your company’s Learning & Development department to see if our programs are in their catalogue.  If they are, that’s the best way for you to sign up.  The free webinar for engineers is not in catalogues yet.

1.       FREE Webinar: Virtual Communication Skills for Engineers

April 28, 2020

11:00 – 12:30 PST

Click here for information and to register.

2.      Live Group Webinars for Teams or Employees to Keep Morale High

Click here for information and to schedule.

3.      One-on-one Virtual Coaching to Build Life-Changing Skills

Click here for information and to schedule.

Subscribe to Causative Communication

Articles RSS

How Jesse blew away the Founder, CEO and CMO in a single presentation

Jesse, one of our clients, just sent me a video of his virtual presentation to VIP customers and senior execs after his coaching.  It was SOOOO good, it blew me away.  (Not just me, but his CEO and everyone else in the meeting.)

I was swept off my feet by how calm he is.  

Jesse is dynamic and charismatic … and calm.  It’s a powerful mix.  The one adjective NEVER used to describe successful professionals in corporate America is CALM.  And yet, that is the #1 barometer of real confidence. 

He is looking right into the camera, his presence is STRONG and it feels like he’s talking right to you. He also makes you feel you’re the only person he’s talking to, and that really gets your attention.

He takes his sweet time and makes sure that the quality of his communication is extraordinary.  He’s not trying to cram a whole lot of words into a short period of time (which always makes you look frantic).

His slides are in the background enhancing his presentation, but making a personal connection with you is his main focus.

Jesse has several key messages and takes his time getting them across, so you not only GET them, you’re impressed by them and you remember them.

The outstanding characteristics of his presentation are his comfort and clarity.  He is completely comfortable and his presence is nice and strong.  His pace is spot-on, he is extremely clear, and his slides now enhance that clarity.

And his great affinity and warmth for the people he’s talking to is evident in his tone, in all of his body language, facial expression and, especially, in his eyes.

All of Jesse’s effectiveness is entirely due to the fabulous connection he’s making by talking so directly to his audience, to you, via the camera.  That is what is underlying all this other goodness.

It’s a rare kind of presentation.  It’s personal.  It’s real.  It has personality.  It creates rapport.  It’s inspiring.  You believe him.  You want him in your life.

Jesse is normally very hard on himself.  That’s all gone.  This is what he emailed:

“My presentation was outstanding, even though it was virtual! It was one of my best presentations that I have ever made and I felt in the zone. As soon as it kicked off, I just felt comfortable and was able to flow with it. Your coaching prior to the session was career changing, literally. The CEO immediately sent me a note congratulating me and the head of Marketing sent a note to the execs in the company saying I “killed it!”... the Board member who founded the company also recognized what I did.”

Jesse ended his email by writing he feels like there’s still a lot for him to learn.

He’s right.  There is.

But it's the difference between positive and negative gain.  Negative gain is when the presenter is doing a lot of things that are negative.  They detract from making a powerful impact.  For example, experiencing anxiety, self-doubt, saying, “Uhm …”, being unable to connect with the audience, losing the audience’s interest, talking too fast, etc.

Jesse’s not doing that.  He’s lost all the negatives and entered a new rank of presenters.

Positive gain is when you reach a new dimension of extraordinary communication and continue to build on the positives.  You keep going higher and higher.  This is where your communication becomes good enough for you to become a great world leader (or whatever your highest goal is). 

You too can operate in this high class of presenters.  As you achieve higher levels of ‘outstanding’ with your communication skills, your abilities develop into powers and you begin to feel you’re operating at your true potential.  You’ve left the negatives behind.  A worthy and exhilarating goal.

Helping others achieve this is our mission.  It’s what we do here. So, consider this your direct invitation to join us in the upcoming Virtual Presentation Skill-Building Summit.  I’ll open enrollment for this session on Friday, March 13, 2020.  Feel free to contact us if you want me to put you on the list to pre-register.

Be the cause!

Subscribe to Causative Communication

Articles RSS