Daniel opened this message after a critical meeting and knew that others had clearly seen his new state of being:
“Not sure if it’s the coaching, but you had a rather regal presence. Your ideas were very clear, collaborative and it was a boosted energy from previous meetings. Thank you for all of the insight and input you provided today.”
You rarely see the word regal, meaning worthy of a king, used to describe someone in the corporate world – very rare. It’s a badge of honor. You have to earn it, and Daniel did.
How did he get here?
Daniel already had the highest rating from his team of any senior manager in the organization, 4.8 out of 5, on scores of productivity, team spirit and loyalty. He regularly received kudos from his boss and the rest of the organization for his work.
The problem is, emotionally speaking, Daniel is done with this job. He’s beyond ready for more. Daniel wakes up every morning aching for the next level. He wants to be a VP so bad, it’s difficult to find satisfaction anymore in what he’s doing right now.
But his boss, and his boss’ boss, keep telling him he’s not ready.
There’s not much worse than feeling stuck and feeling like you can’t control your own destiny.
Daniel’s boss told him that what Daniel is missing is this extremely nebulous quality called executive presence. But his boss couldn’t really explain or define it for him. And Daniel had no idea what it was either.
So they called me.
You might think that executive presence is a recent phenomenon, a concept that only made its appearance in the corporate world in the last century.
Not so. Noah Webster was writing about it in 1828, and it had been around for a long time even before that. They were writing about (and admiring) this quality of presence in men and women all the way back in ancient civilizations. I like to use what Noah wrote about it in my coaching. He explains it well.
Here’s what it is:
Superior presence of mind. A calm, firm state of the mind, with thoughts and abilities at command, which enables a person to speak or act without embarrassment or self-consciousness.
The thing about this, is that it’s very rare. While anyone is capable of it, very few in the corporate world demonstrate it. Here’s why:
Very simply put, executive presence is a state of mind.
Let’s examine it by breaking down Noah Webster’s definition one word at a time:
Superior means to surpass what is considered usual regarding excellence, greatness, goodness and quality. It’s a superior state of mind.
Presence is a state of being that is focused, cool, firm and prepared.
Calm means still. Your mind is still. You are still. It doesn’t mean that you can’t be very dynamic. It means that you and your energy, are not agitated. There is a stillness to your energy. It’s not rushed. It is not disturbed. It flows forth easily.
Firm means secure in position, unshaken, strong, steadfast.
Being in complete command of your thoughts and abilities means that you have complete power and authority over exercising them. You are in complete control of your thoughts and your abilities. It’s a state of being in complete command over yourself. This very naturally, very organically, generates authority, which is the power others give you which is derived from their opinion, respect or esteem.
Embarrassment is being ashamed of yourself. You want none of that.
Self-consciousness means being too aware of yourself. The opposite of self-conscious is aware of the world around you, of others, not focused on yourself. Effortlessly.
Every single one of these is an ability. It’s not a personality trait. I say that to dispel any false idea you might have been told that you have to be born with it. I’ve worked with thousands of very different personalities who have developed these abilities. Each personality has its own unique style. You have your own unique style. That’s your personality. The qualities above are abilities, not personalities. You can develop each of these abilities and then add your own beautiful style to them, just as Daniel did during our coaching sessions.
This state of mind is the foundation from which you communicate and from which you act. When you can do that, your communication has the power of executive presence, and your actions do as well.
People then naturally put you into the leadership position. For one simple reason: it’s obvious that you belong there. It would not be fitting, it would not be right, to put you anywhere else. Your promotion to leadership is inevitable, assuming you have the technical and business skills required.
Daniel’s organization does not have the position of King. So I don’t think that Daniel will be crowned. However, I have no doubt that one of his next emails to me is going to announce a major promotion. That email he received above is just one of many similar ones he’s happily answering these days. It’s happening.
You are in control of your destiny.
If things aren’t going in the direction you want, then get the skills you need to change that.
You are the king or queen of your “kingdom,” after all.
Be the cause!