I’m sending this article out a day early, because of what tomorrow brings, because of the conversations that will happen.
I live in America. Most of my readers live in America, although a great number live in countries around the globe. Politics has reached deeply into every corner of the world, into many lives, millions of conversations.
Right now, we have 25,000 armed military troops dressed in riot gear in our beautiful nation’s capital. This is more troops than we have had on-site during many declarations of war.
It signals many things, but to me, primarily it signals the breakdown of communication. Force enters in when communication breaks down. As long as communication is working, force is unnecessary.
This past Sunday, I went for a walk and stopped to talk to one of my neighbors. John is passionate about everything, from gardening and music to local politics. I made the serious mistake of thinking he and I had similar political views, and commented to him about a controversial California politician I greatly admire.
John exploded. He doesn’t believe anything this politician says. He went on and on and on, passionately explaining his beliefs.
Our disagreement could not have been greater.
I opened my mind and really listened to him. I genuinely understood John and his point of view. He made several extremely valid points. He also said some things I knew nothing about and I made a note to research them when I got home because it would be interesting to learn about them. I listened and I listened and I listened.
While he was talking, I wasn’t thinking about anything, I was simply listening and really understanding, really seeing it from his point of view. Mostly I was making sure I was just getting it fully and understanding.
There are many things I love about John. He’s a very cheerful guy who always lights up when he sees me. He’s friendly to everyone. He always lends a hand to every neighbor on our street. John’s the guy who shows up with the wheelbarrow when you need one. He loves to talk to everyone.
As I listened to John say things I completely disagreed with, I never lost the good feeling I have for him.
John talked in great detail. He said all he wanted me to know, and it was a lot. When he was finished, he seemed to notice me for the first time. He examined my face. I think he could see I was concentrating very seriously on him and just plain listening. John smiled at me and said, “I sure didn’t mean to go off like that.”
I said, “I’m glad you did. I’m very happy to know what you’re thinking. I really understand what you’re saying, I really get your point of view on this. There are some things you said I’ve never heard and I’m going to look into them.”
John looked at me with a super friendly look and said, “What you said about this politician is something I’ve never heard. If it’s true, that would change my opinion of him. I’m going to do some research on that, that would be very interesting.”
We both smiled and talked about the goings-on in the street. Very happy to be neighbors.
The reason I’m writing this is because millions of political conversations are happening. And I want you to know that the propaganda that’s put out about how “difficult” it is for people to communicate when they have different or opposing views is a lie. Believing this lie erects barriers between us when we need to reach each other most.
The truth is that we as human beings are capable of great understanding, we are capable of seeing things from many different viewpoints, we’re capable of seeing things from billions of different viewpoints. There is simply no limit on this one.
Yet, by magazines and media, we are systematically brainwashed to think that our own viewpoint is the only one that is valid and that we “can’t talk to” someone who has a different view or conviction. This belief that communication is “difficult” ensures we will have enduring conflict.
John and I have completely different points of view, completely different sources of information, completely different beliefs, and we have a major disagreement that we are both passionate about. But we have no conflict. Why?
Because we’re both willing to understand each other, to find out more and to keep talking about it.
I have no doubt that something amazing is going to come out of this conversation. And I have a feeling that we will both be surprised by how it turns out. That’s how good communication works.
Why is John willing to understand me? Because I understand him. Period.
Whoever you’re talking to, what they really want from you is understanding.
The more you understand them, the more willing they are to understand you. This is a natural law in play in all humanity. It looks like magic when it happens, but I’ve seen it happen now across all borders for over 30 years.
You’re the one to get the ball rolling.
Show the world the “lie” isn’t true…
Be the cause!