Last week, Mark came out of his virtual meetings feeling drained. This week he’s leaving each meeting exhilarated.
For the past several months, a new management team struggled with (in their words) lack of trust and suspicion. This week, they’re filled with great affinity for each other and are finding great pleasure in working together.
Last week, Andy and his wife were getting on each other’s nerves after being confined to their house for so long. This week, they’re enjoying being together and having the best conversations ever, so happy they found each other again.
Last week, Lisa, a millennial, felt disrespected and dismissed by the people she worked with, and resented them deeply for it. This week, they’re coming to her for her opinions and she loves them all.
What happened to these people?
A transformation happened. A transformation facilitated by an increase in their abilities.
It all happened with only TWO steps. Here’s how to take them:
Step 1 (the only step that starts you down this road): Your decision that existing reality is not as good as you demand it to be in order for you to be happy.
Step 2: Learning. The only way of gaining the ability to transform existing reality into that dream within you that will make you happy.
It’s easy to move furniture around to change a scene. But we live in a world of people. And transforming our lives ultimately means transforming these relationships. People aren’t furniture. They don’t like being moved around. They talk back. And they refuse to move.
That’s why the most important ability is communication. The ability to be fully understood and to respond to what comes back to you in a way that creates a shift in reality.
Create enough shifts, and you’ve changed your life.
How long does it take? One conversation, if you’re good at it.
I’ve seen too many people learn to live with dissatisfaction and explain it away as a necessary part of life. I don’t know how many times people have said to me, “You can’t always be happy.”
Yes you can.
The one psychologist I ever went to see in my life during my first (and last) visit said, “The problem with you, Ingrid, is that you expect to be happy ALL the time.”
I thought to myself, “Absolutely! Isn’t that what this is all about?”
And I decided if he thought that was a problem, I could help him a whole lot more than he could help me. He wasn’t asking me for help, so I chit-chatted with him a bit and left with a warm and friendly (but final) goodbye.
I am pretty much happy all the time. Do you know why? Because I spent my life learning how to communicate and I can do it. Because gaining this key ability makes you causative. Because being happy is what being causative does.
I very much want others (you) to be happy all the time too. All the time. And what makes me happiest is teaching and seeing people (you) increase their communication abilities, feel better about themselves and about the world.
Nothing helped me become causative more than the skills I now teach to others. These abilities enable me to navigate the trickiest, the most complex and challenging conversations (and people) to create outstanding relationships and outcomes worth celebration. Every day.
Just like the students I wrote about at the start of this article. They’re happy. And they’ll be happy tomorrow.
Keep increasing your abilities. There is no ceiling to stop their growth. The more you have, the happier you will be. Take those two steps. Decide. Learn. Be nice to the people who tell you that you can’t be happy all the time, do the work and go ahead and be really happy anyway.
If you want someone to get you to that goal fast, then acquire the abilities I help you develop in Building a Foundation for Causative Communications and let’s get going.
Be the cause!
Ingrid