“You were so good, I couldn’t look away if I wanted to.”
I was about to start an advanced presentation skills workshop. The Vice President who had organized the training jumped in with this surprising statement meant for Olivia, one of the participants, who had given a presentation to 150 top professionals the day before.
Olivia has that kind of presence. Even when she sits and says nothing, you can feel it.
Yes, she is beautiful. But that isn’t it. This is something that is radiating from within. There is such power in her presence, it compels you to look.
This isn’t how Olivia was when I first met her. She was unsure of herself. Her mind was racing faster than her words. She was bright, smart, and articulate. But when it came to speaking in public, she talked too fast, looked like she wanted to vanish, and ran away as fast as possible.
There were many skills leading up to her transformation. I want to highlight two of them that had a huge impact.
The first one is dignity.
Dignity is something most people never consider. But it’s one of the most important qualities in human character.
I teach dignity. It’s a bit advanced, but it is of such great benefit that many people reach for it.
People will tell you that dignity can’t be taught. That’s because they don’t know how to teach it.
Many will tell you that dignity is found in the way you walk, your posture and how you hold yourself.
That’s true. But those are surface manifestations. They’re not dignity itself, they’re not the real thing. You won’t find it on the surface at all, it’s down deep. So if you work only on those surface things, you will look and feel artificial.
Dignity comes from within, directly from the you that’s really you.
One of the things that makes my coaching different is that I don’t coach any surface manifestations. I put heavy emphasis on teaching genuine principles because, when you really understand essential principles, you very naturally become powerful.
Your whole “body language” changes, from the way you hold your feet to your hand gestures to every single one of the 42 muscles in your face. This is how you create a truly holistic transformation. People are always surprised by this. Just yesterday, a person I was coaching exclaimed, “Everyone is saying my tone of voice is so powerful now. How did you create such a change in my tone of voice without coaching me on my tone?”
I taught him dignity and his voice tone changed as dignity filled his very being.
How do you teach the principle of dignity? Most people wouldn’t know where to start.
I start with the word. People don’t know what it means. And if you can’t define it, you can’t do it.
Think to yourself, do you have crystal clarity on dignity?
I use a revolutionary new process called Word Clearing to teach extremely powerful concepts, including executive presence. Dignity is an essential component of executive presence.
When you look it up in a really good dictionary, Dignity is the quality of being worthy of respect, esteem or honor. These are profound concepts for all humans. And the sense of being truly worthy of them takes individuals to a new level of development that many dream about but don’t know how to reach.
What does knowing you are worthy mean?
During the Word Clearing process, people often tell me, “I should have a feeling of worth.” I never tell them they should, they tell me they think they should.
If I ask, “I understand. How high is your sense of worth?” Most people answer, “Not very good.” Or, “Not as good as it should be.”
I don’t ever get into what they should or should not feel, what they should or should not have. That’s personal and only you can say. I do know people want more. And I know that Word Clearing and fully understanding these principles will give them what they’re looking for.
So what I do is spend more time with them on what all these words mean. Dignity, worthy, respect, esteem, honor. I use exceedingly good dictionaries to get the precise meanings.
I watch everything about a person’s body language and ability to communicate change as they come to fully understand what these words mean. It unfolds naturally, organically, like some amazing and impossibly magnificent flower opening its petals into a glorious bloom.
It’s utterly amazing that clearing up what a word really means, down to its very ROOTS, including its very ancient derivation, that this is an incredibly powerful way for you to achieve complete understanding of the vital principle that word represents, and that you come to truly own it and to manifest it effortlessly.
I’ve done it with thousands of people and many important words, and it happens every time.
The concept of dignity was first put into words over 2,700 years ago – even the ancients recognized its importance to humans. People in Italy back then spoke Latin and were first to use this word, calling it dingus. Dingus originally meant worthy. They used it to describe certain people, those who knew from deep self-knowledge that they were worthy of respect, esteem, and honor.
And that brings me back to Olivia. What you see when you look at Olivia is an unselfconscious and effortless sense of her own worth. It’s powerful.
We also clear up the word arrogance. People hold themselves back from allowing themselves to experience dignity for fear of being thought arrogant. Once you understand the difference through the Word Clearing process (or you can look it up yourself in a good dictionary), it clears up major misconceptions and then nothing holds you back. It’s like you’ve been released from a barrier you didn’t even realize you had.
When you look at Olivia, you see a human being with a true sense of dignity and zero arrogance.
The second skill that Olivia possesses is her affinity. Her affinity for you, for others, is powerful and palpable. Palpable means capable of being felt strongly even though invisible to the eye. There is MUCH in human communication that is invisible, and yet is tremendously palpable. Master this and you are able to change the world.
Both Olivia’s dignity and affinity are genuine, you see them in her eyes, there is no question you can trust her.
She looks so good and there is something so special about her, you don’t want to look away. Then when Olivia leans in to talk, you hang on every word.
Why does Olivia stand out so much? Because too many people in the world today have smashed their own confidence and their own sense of dignity. What Olivia is emanating is rare, so rare, you almost find yourself staring. What she has is something people want and can’t remember how they lost.
However, it’s important to know this : every human being is capable of dignity, every human being is capable of great affinity.
When you have both Dignity and Affinity in combination with each other, you will hear others say about you “You were so good, I couldn’t look away if I wanted to.”
It’s a testament to how much the world needs people who have these qualities. When you have them, you are supplying something humans desperately long for, aspire to and greatly respect, honor and esteem. They will love you for it. It reminds them it’s possible and gives them hope.
Be the cause!