Sophia had been a shining star as a Director. When she was promoted to VP and given a much larger zone of visibility and responsibility, she also took on real risk of failure.
In her new role, Sophia now attended weekly senior leadership meetings, which is where she ran into Jack every Wednesday.
Jack had the ear of the CEO. Sophia didn’t. Jack dominated every meeting he was in. In this Silicon Valley corporation, he was the most technically proficient person in the room. He presented his ideas forcefully. Jack liked winning and believed in intimidation. There was nothing warm about him, kind of like “Jack Frost” himself. He shut you down if you expressed a dissenting opinion. Most people never dared. Even the CEO deferred to Jack.
Sophia had been successful as a “backrooms influencer.” She preferred to hash out diverging views away from an audience or public scrutiny, and then bring a consensus, neatly and politely resolved, back to the larger group. She found conflict unpleasant and shied away from it.
Suddenly Jack was taking her on center stage, and despite her vision and passion, she became subdued and ineffective.
Sophia’s goal when she arrived to learn Causative Communication was to navigate these difficult situations while successfully getting her ideas implemented. Her goal was to get Jack to listen. Her goal was to transform Jack so they could collaborate effectively.
Sophia values being warm and graceful under pressure. But she found herself agitated and frenzied at these meetings. She wanted to preserve a calm elegance and genuine friendliness while under intense fire.
This takes a lot of skill.
I taught Sophia the formula for communication that works in every situation. We spent a lot of time applying it to the difficult conversations and meetings which were now routine in her VP life. With practice and coaching, real transformation emerged.
The first transformation was in herself. Sophia gained the ability to comfortably face severely uncomfortable conversations. She also gained the ability to be very direct, yet very warm and friendly and still be powerful, deliberate and intentional, even under fire.
The next transformation was in Jack. Jack didn’t come to our workshop, of course. Sophia did. But her new skills now allowed her to transform OTHER people…even people as difficult as Jack.
The next meeting she attended, she put forth an innovative idea and Jack instantly dismissed it. Usually that would be the end of it.
This time, Sophia held Jack’s gaze and let him know she fully understood his point of view. When he looked at her, all Jack saw was real understanding, powerful intention, and genuine friendliness. Sophia let her acknowledgment sink in. She wasn’t in a rush. Jack was quiet, waiting to see what Sophia was going to say next.
Not forcefully, but powerfully with very strong intention, and still with great warmth, Sophia said, “Let me explain why I think this is a good idea.”
She directed her comments to Jack, but also included the other leaders. Jack was listening and so was everyone else. She had their full attention.
Sophia was clear. She was concise. She said a lot in a few words. She was deliberate. She was purposeful. She was elegant. She wasn’t rushed. She wasn’t pressured or pressuring. She was compelling.
The look in Jack’s eyes changed. To respect.
With a new, very pleasant tone of voice, Jack asked her a couple questions, then paused, and agreed her proposal was worth trying.
The next transformation was in the senior leadership team. With her new skills, Sophia had completely changed the dynamics of the group.
Once that happens, there is no putting that toothpaste back into that tube. Suddenly the dynamic wasn’t, “We have to do what Jack says.” The new dynamic was to have polite, in-depth conversations, allow input from everyone and make the best decision.
The final transformation was in the organization. When a senior leadership team starts working together this effectively, the organization can’t help but transform as well.
Sophia is an example of the power of a single individual.
Yes, you could say she was in a VP role and so was in a position to generate the transformation. But I have worked with individuals at every level, down to low level individual contributors with no one reporting to them.
It doesn’t matter where you are in the organization. When you make that first transformation - with your own self - when you become a world-class communicator, there is no limit to the impact you can have in this world. No limit at all.
The most difficult part of this entire journey is making the decision to begin.
You might think that the obstacles keeping you from getting where you want to go have little to do with your communication skills.
But that’s only because people have been taught to believe they AREN’T as powerful as they actually are. Don’t fall for it.
You have the power to transform your entire world just like Sophia did.
If she can do it with Mr. Jack “Frost,” you can do it too.
This is the purpose of our Causative Communication Live! Workshop. This is where you learn the formula for communication that ALWAYS works. Then you seriously upgrade your ability to communicate effectively, enabling you to rapidly achieve your vision.
Be the cause!