Recent email: “I need to talk to you. My department of 600 people is being let go - all of us. It’s such a shock. I’m not sure what to do next. It’s like the rug was pulled out from under me. Everyone here is in a state of complete bewilderment.”
I’ve handled many difficult situations. Many difficult conversations. And I’ve spent my life helping others do the same.
I’ve seen people turn their losses around rapidly. I’ve also seen people who take a long time to recover.
The fastest, simplest and most effective way to turn around a bad situation, a bad conversation, or a bad relationship is this.
First, face the situation as it is. Don’t get drawn into “How it should have been”. Face how it actually is. When you face it fully, you stop being afraid of it. Fear and anxiety only exist when a person retreats, withdraws, or resists. “Face” simply means perceive it as it is.
Don’t waste time thinking about, or talking about, how you don’t like it. If you accidentally drove into a bad neighborhood, you wouldn’t stop the car, turn the engine off, sit there and discuss everything you didn’t like about it. You’d figure out where you want to go and start driving there.
Do the same in life. People waste time. They sit endlessly in a bad neighborhood, with their car idling, wondering if the neighborhood is going to fix itself. And they never stop talking about how bad it is.
I see this in my coaching sessions. A new client will spend 30 minutes talking about what’s wrong and they look surprised when I give a quick acknowledgement and say, “I get that. What is it you would like to have?”
I often have to repeat that question 3-4 times before they can shift their attention from what’s terrible over to a real goal that makes them happy. They’re often so caught up in how bad it is, they haven’t given their goals any thought.
Your dreams and your goals are where you should be spending MOST of your time. You observe it’s bad. Good. Well done. Now, what do you want? Let’s focus on that.
When you start focusing on what you want, don’t consult anyone. It’s what YOU want. It should never be what someone else thinks you should want. It comes from you.
Don’t consult what others think is possible either. They will only and always speak from their own limitations. Anything is possible. You don’t have any limits. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you do. Be especially alert to anyone who tells you to “Be realistic”. This person’s a dream-killer. Keep your dreams away from them.
Use your imagination. You have an independent capacity to dream. Your dreams don’t need to have anything to do with reality. The second they do, you are no longer causative. Something else has taken control of your hopes and dreams.
What would you dream if reality did not intrude? Intention depends on imagination. If you can’t imagine an outcome that brings you joy, there’s no way you’re going to be able to communicate with powerful intention. That’s important because your next step is to communicate your dreams into reality.
This means communicating sufficiently to make your dreams truly visible and attractive to others. This means communicating effectively through everyone else’s confusions to ultimately capture their imaginations and gain their enthusiastic cooperation.
I know this may seem impossible, but I have seen many impossible situations turn around because the person communicated their dreams often enough and well enough. And I’ve seen many sad situations stay the same because the person gave up and stopped communicating their dreams.
Use your ability to communicate to not only handle the immediate situation, but to reach for what you really want. Create the ultimate reality that will give you joy. Be causative.
I’m not saying this is easy. It takes courage. Courage comes from facing the situation, that’s where courage is born. And that courage gives you the power to choose a course of action that can lead you straight into your dreams.
It takes courage to communicate. And it takes communication to get anything done.
The reason I teach communication is because I know all the incredible things, all the amazing things, all the impossible things that can be done with a superior level of communication skill.
I have complete confidence that you already have within you every ability you need. If you need someone to believe in you, you have me.
If you need help bringing your abilities to the surface, you can always do one of our courses.
I’ve seen people dig out of some pretty deep holes. It’s never about how deep the hole is. It’s never about how impossible it is to reach the top. It’s always about facing where you are, communicating your way out of it, and using superior communication ability to shape reality into something that gives you joy.
I’ve had thousands of people come back to me after they were absolutely crushed by something that happened in their life. I’ve worked with them on these principles and the skills needed to pull them off. Thousands have come back to me and said, “You know that terrible thing that happened? It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. It’s because I was able to create something much, much better, and I am so much happier now.”
This is the power you have. The power to be causative and create your dreams, no matter what they are. You have this power right now. Imagine what could happen if you put it to use?
Be the cause!