Last week, I wrote about Alaya and one skill (intention) she used to reclaim power while expressing her ideas with beauty and grace.

Remember, Alaya comes from a culture that values elegance and refined manners.

She works in a fast-paced high-tech corporation filled with fiercely-driven passionate and unrestrained professionals and demanding executives who want things done now.

Passion, passion, passion. Over even the smallest of issues.

In that environment, two worlds meet:  elegance faces passion.

It’s not that Alaya isn’t passionate, she is.  But she wants to express herself with refined dignity and elegance.

Passionate people often express themselves with a very, “I have spoken!” determination.

In meetings, Alaya often drowned in their sea of overpowering forcefulness.

She would nod in a, “Yes, you have certainly spoken,” sort of way, hoping now for some sign of an opening, some opportunity or invitation beyond the ensuing silence for her to speak.

But that invitation never came.

Alaya was overwhelmed by the sheer insistence of other people.  So, when it came right down to it, she couldn’t comfortably hear what they were saying.  Words were ringing in her ears but with no meaning as she struggled with their overpowering demandingness.

As Alaya mastered our Communication Formula, all this changed.  She worked hard and learned the formula well in class and stayed in touch when she needed help.

By practicing in life, Alaya became quite an expert.  Her emails along this journey are treasures of self-discovery.

She wrote me about an extremely important breakthrough she made to REAL listening:

“It has been a year of self-transformation.  It allowed me to become much more comfortable with myself and to like myself. Only after this step, was I able to pay 100% attention to the other party.  And to listen, without thinking any comebacks in my head.  I listen to difficult conversations and feedback VERY well now. I’ve been told by others that they felt ‘there was a lot of heat, but you took it so well’ and honestly, I had felt NO heat.”

This is what it means to LISTEN.

Alaya also learned how to create a beautiful bridge when someone passionately demands the impossible or disagrees with her, to create an elegant transition that allows her to make her voice heard, to control the conversation, to create the outcomes she wants.

“I am just able to acknowledge what the other person is saying, not as an attack but as a constructive point.  I thank the person for sharing that very valuable idea. I validate them for the positive aspects.  I let them know that we will do something about it.  And then I solidly feel like they really feel heard.  So then I seek permission to move on to next topic…. They move on very smoothly.”

Being successful in our communications leads to success in life. It empowers us to make our dreams come true.  As Alaya wrote me:

“I feel I have more power and influence in my communications.  And it is showing up (it’s very visible) to the leaders around me. I have made very good connections with my colleagues. I have people say things like, ‘Wow, it’s always great meeting you’, ‘You give off such good energy’, etc. GREAT THINGS are happening in my life… and I feel things are just getting started. ;)”

Your ability to communicate is one of the most precious abilities you have.  It empowers you to be CAUSATIVE.  It enables you to live a life of joy.

The question isn’t “how” to do this. We know the how. We’ve mastered the how. We teach the how every single day of the week.

The real question is whether or not you want to take this journey.

Do YOU want what Causative Communication can help you create?

That’s a question that only you can answer.

Be the cause!