Too many words. Not enough meaning
“We don’t need a reorganization.”
That simple sentence changed the fate of hundreds of people.
Bill came to me for coaching, but not with high hopes. His first words were, “I’m interested in anything you have to teach me, but I want you to know that I’m realistic and I know that there are many situations where communication doesn’t work.”
I’ve never thought of that viewpoint as particularly “realistic”. I’ve always thought of it as unskilled. I know for a fact that communication shapes reality, and that if you communicate with sufficient skill, you can create any reality, including making seemingly impossible good things real.
But I understood Bill. I understood that he had reached the limit of his skills so “reality” was shaping him, rather than the other way around.
I asked Bill what situation he wanted to change. He said his organization announced a reorganization that was going to destroy a division of hundreds of people. Bill was a senior manager and did not have any command authority to do anything about it. He said, “I have talked to my boss and his boss until I’m blue in the face, and they keep telling me there’s nothing they can do about it. They don’t even try.”
They knew why the re-org was wrong, but were intimidated about communicating to a powerful senior management group who had already decided.
I asked Bill to imagine that I was his boss and to tell me exactly what he’s been saying, exactly the way that he’s been telling his boss and his boss.
Bill went into a 10-minute lecture that included pointing his finger at me. Bill had drowned them in lectures. Lectures are about the most INeffective way to persuade there is. Humans hate being lectured. Even if you’re right.
They tuned him out within seconds of his starting.
Too many words. Not enough meaning.
Plus, Bill was incredibly agitated. You diminish your own power when you are agitated or uncomfortable.
We got to work.
I showed Bill the essential principles of Executive Presence by carefully defining what these words actually mean. That immediately caused him to have a new presence that transformed his ability to command attention and interest.
Then I coached Bill on communicating with real intention.
Intention makes your words powerful. It creates the carrier wave that moves your words across to the other person and creates real meaning. Intention gets your words to arrive and impinge, which means that their meaning really registers.
Most people don’t realize that their full meaning is not registering. This is extremely important. You need to observe the other person and see how much of what you just said really registered. If it didn’t register, you need to DO something about it.
It doesn’t mean getting louder. Or saying more words. It means more crystal clear INTENTION.
Speaking with intention also had the immediate effect of making Bill concise. “Concise” means “saying much in few words”.
You naturally use fewer words when your words are unmistakably powerful and have great meaning. You’re saying less, but creating more meaning.
Just with these skills, Bill walked into his boss’ office. When his boss saw him standing there with real Executive Presence, he sat up straight and focused on him.
Bill said, “Can I talk to you?”
The boss said, “If it’s about the reorganization, they’ve already announced it.”
Bill said, “I know and I understand. There’s something I want you to know.”
The boss said, “Please sit down.”
Bill sat down in the chair. He very calmly looked at his boss, made sure his boss was 100% focused on him, and with just the RIGHT amount of effort and perfect intention, Bill said, “We do not need a reorganization.” And was silent.
Bill could see the full meaning of how wrong the re-org was sunk in deep. The full meaning registered because of the way he delivered this one sentence.
Bill stood up, smiled at his boss, turned around and very calmly walked out of the room.
About 20 minutes later, his boss was standing in his doorway. The boss said, “I’m going to give it a try.” Bill said, “Good.”
His boss continued down the hall toward his boss’ office. And then, apparently together they made another walk down the hall to the boss’ boss’ boss.
This communication had sufficient intention in it to travel from Bill to Bill’s boss and register there, then from Bill’s boss to his boss and on up the chain of command. As high as it needed to go.
It registered. That’s intention. It all came from Bill.
48 hours later, the organization announced that the reorganization had been reconsidered and was not necessary at this time.
The division celebrated. And the handful of people who knew that it was Bill’s doing could not thank him enough. Bill’s boss and his boss were looking at him with admiration. The senior execs were grateful, usually the right ideas don’t make it to the top, but this one did. They could see they’d dodged a bullet. Bill simply felt massive relief.
It’s the only time in my career I have ever seen a large corporation announce a reorganization, then immediately admit it was a mistake and take it back.
But it’s not the only time, as a matter of fact it’s one of millions of times, I have seen the “impossible” happen by people who have gained outstanding communication skills and USE them.
The only times I’ve seen it NOT happen are when:
The person doesn’t see that communication shapes reality
They don’t have the skills to make it happen
They don’t use them
During our coaching session it took Bill about 100 tries to get his intention precise, with precision effort and perfectly delivered. Once he got it, he HAD it and could do it every time.
Bill now has a new definition of what being “realistic” means. It doesn’t mean “giving up”. It means seeing what he needs to do, what he needs to communicate, what he needs to say, and saying it. With presence and intention.
Be the cause!