Don (VP of a major corporation here for coaching): “I want to extend my executive presence throughout the organization, beyond my immediate area.”

Me: “What does that mean?”

Don: “I want them to know I can add value to their activities.”

Me: “Is there a problem with that?”

Don: “Yes, they’re not seeing it. They think that I can only add value in my own area. Not outside of it, not for them cross-functionally in the organization.  It’s frustrating.”

Me: “Have you ever told them that you can add value?”

Don: “No.”

Me: “Why not?”

Don: “They need to see it for themselves.”

I call this “Executive Charades”.

Have you ever played the game called, “Charades”?  You act out an idea (a movie or book title for example), but you’re not allowed to speak.  Your audience, usually your friends and family, has to guess what you’re acting out.   You do everything you can without words to help them guess it right.

If you just told them what it was, it would be over, there wouldn’t be a game.  It wouldn’t be fun, but it would go a lot faster.

The executives that I’m coaching don’t really want a fun guessing game.  They want it to go faster.

The reality is, people aren’t going to realize something if you don’t tell them.

If you’re sitting back waiting for them to figure it out, it’s going to take a very long time, and maybe never happen.

If you’re waiting for people to realize you can add value … If you want to others to know you’re doing a good job.… If you’re waiting for them to realize you’re ready for a promotion or a raise… If you want the other person to realize that you do you need to be invited to meetings… If you’re waiting for your husband to be romantic…

The answer is to communicate exactly what you want them to know.

HOW you tell them is a whole separate subject, and takes some skill and a little bit of art to make it land well.  If you don’t even know where to begin, this is where a good friend, colleague, or coach can help you work out what to say and how to say it.

But I can guarantee you, that if you don’t say anything, you’re going to spend a long time waiting for what you want to happen.

Say it simply. Say it clearly.  Say it directly. Make it easy to understand.  Be concise.  Say it with much affinity. Say it with compassion and even kindness.  Say it with intention. Be prepared to really listen to what they have to say about it.

But say it.  Make it visible. Tell them.  Don’t make them guess.

There’s your challenge for the week.

Be the cause!