Alexander (shouting): “Do NOT give this position to someone else, I deserve it!”

Me: “Alexander, what are you doing?”

Alexander: “You told me to use intention. I am being very intentional.”

Me: “I get it. What is ‘intention’?”

Alexander: “It’s when you make the other person hear you.”

Me: “I see. What’s the difference between using intention and being demanding?”

Alexander: “They’re pretty similar.”

Me: “I totally understand. Let’s look at how they’re different.”

Senior executives in Alexander’s company were on the verge of announcing that a leadership position Alexander wanted, and felt he deserved, was being given to someone from outside the company.

This was Alexander’s last-ditch effort to get them to change their mind. Alexander couldn’t get them to listen, or do what he wanted, which is why he signed up for Causative Communication.

Without intention, there was no hope.

Intention is an invisible wave that carries your communication across and causes you to be successful in being fully understood.

Learning how to create this carrier wave is a game-changer.

People often try a variety of different approaches before they land on the precision it takes to create pure intention.

They often go through a process of what intention ISN’T before they start seeing what it is. It can take a while because often they’ve been led down the wrong path about how to get others to listen. Plus, they have no one in their life who has it, so they’ve never seen what real intention looks like.

I explained that intention is a firm, fixed purpose, with a firm, fixed expectancy of success. And that the correct intention in communication, unlike what most people think, is not an intention to get the other person to agree with them or to get the other person to do something. That doesn’t work.

The correct intention in communication is to create real understanding every time you speak.

You have to practice this to really get how powerful this is.

Initially, when they try to be firm in intention, people often become forceful or demanding.

These are two different things.

Forceful means full of force, or using force, trying to coerce. And it doesn’t work.

Demanding is insisting forcefully and persistently, not accepting refusal. And it doesn’t work either.

They both are attempts to overwhelm the other person, and people don’t like someone trying to overwhelm them.

Firm very simply means unwavering. Unwavering means not wavering, simply staying true to your purpose. There’s no force, no demand, no energy.  It just is.

The intention that you keep, unwavering and firm, in communication, is the intention to create real understanding.

Think about an example in your life where you experienced real understanding.

Now compare that to an example where you experienced only shallow and superficial understanding.

You see what I mean about how distinguished REAL understanding is.

Get the idea of something you intend to accomplish.

Get the idea of what success looks like.

Get the idea of holding steady, and unwavering with that intention.

That’s what I mean by firm. If you’re doing this little exercise correctly, you can see you’re not being forceful. You’re just holding steady.

Now, add to that, genuine warmth and affinity for the other person. Your affinity for them MUST be high and strong. The higher and stronger it is, the more successful you will be. Now get the idea of also feeling unwavering affinity for them.

The combination of unwavering intention and unwavering affinity causes real understanding and a million other wonderful by-products, including real commitment and action, and the enjoyment of exceptional relationships.5

A couple weeks after the workshop, I got this email from Alexander:

“I had a good conversation about long-term expectations with the 2 senior execs making the decision. They agreed to my promotion and title change request, to the salary increase, the bonus and even gave me shares in the company. I am getting a substantial increase now and will work on the title change, additional raise, and shares in the company over the course of the next 12 months. I am over the moon. And totally surprised how effortless it was when I used real intention. I also realized I had not been talking to them with any affinity, which made me come across hostile and demanding. Their perception of me totally changed during this conversation. I feel like I learned a Jedi mind trick and can’t wait to use it everywhere.”

Alexander nailed it.  His intention was genuine INTENTION. Without force or demand. His affinity hit the powerful range. The combination created real understanding, and real understanding made his request compelling.

What Alexander did, you can do also. I’m only reminding you of something you already have, and inspiring you to use it. There truly are no limits to what you’re capable of. Bring your own intention to life and enjoy the ride.

If you need any help with that, there’s always a workshop that will help you.

Be the cause!