Liza: “I’m leaving you.”

Matt: In shock. “Oh no you’re not.”

He was at home in Silicon Valley. Liza was calling from Boston. She was in a hotel room with the man she was leaving Matt for. She was on a business trip, but now she was telling Matt she wasn’t coming home. Matt just found out that their affair had been going on for months.

He knew things had gotten distant between them, and he felt responsible because he had been working too hard and had stopped really being present in their marriage. “I wasn’t there for her.” He suddenly realized what a mistake that was. But he loved Liza and he didn’t want her to go.

Matt was on the phone and thinking fast. He felt he was losing everything, his mind was a blank. He had just done Causative Communication and the only thing he could remember was intention.  He had practiced intention for three hours, maybe four. He grabbed hold of what he remembered about the power of intention like a drowning man.

He leaned into the phone, and focused 100% of his attention on the woman sitting on the other end of the phone line. With total intention Matt said, “Liza, you’re going to go to the airport right now and get on the next flight home. I am going to pick you up and we’re going to check into the Ritz-Carlton hotel. We are going to stay in that room until we have sorted everything out. I love you and I am going to do whatever it takes to make our marriage work. Now, go to the airport right now!”

Matt hung up and held his breath.

15 minutes later he got a call saying, “I’ll be landing at 9:15 tonight.” Matt said, “I will be there and we will go straight to the hotel.”

He called me that Monday morning and said,

“My God! It worked. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I used intention the whole time. In the beginning I saw nothing good happening, and then slowly it started to change.  And then when we were talking, I used the rest of the Communication Formula. I listened and acknowledged, and listened and listened and acknowledged, and listened and listened and acknowledged. We were both crying the whole time. And when she was done telling me everything, everything, everything, I kept asking her was there anything else? And she told me more. And when it was everything and I heard it all and she could tell I was really there, she looked at me and I saw love in her eyes the way she used to look at me. We talked for two days. Never left the room. Room service all the way. I had gotten a nice room.”

“And we were completely honest with each other. We didn’t hold anything back.”

“She had done the class also, and at one point she said, “I know what you’re doing!” I said, “GOOD! Then you know what I’m doing.” She smiled and said, “Yes, it’s good.”

Five years later on a beautiful Spring day, I was standing on their patio. They had a house filled with people. They were celebrating their anniversary and no one was happier than they were, although I was a close second.

Matt got the group around to make a toast. Matt had his arm around Liza and she was beaming up at him. Matt said, “Many of you think this is our wedding anniversary. It is not. Today is our marriage anniversary which was 10 years after our wedding.  It is the anniversary of the day we married each other FOR REAL and started to create a real and true marriage. And we owe it all to this lady, this toast is for her.”  And Matt pointed to me.

They all turned around to look at me.

Well, knock me over with a feather, I wasn’t expecting that. This was one of the very few times in my life I was slightly embarrassed. But I held up my glass of champagne in a toast, and said, “I love you both with all my heart.”

I went back in the kitchen for something and was immediately surrounded by people, ”Do you do marriage counseling?” And they started telling me about their lives, their worries and concerns, how much they love their partners, and the problems they’re having communicating.

“Heavens no!”, I said, “But I do teach people how to communicate effectively and communication is the foundation of every relationship, especially a marriage.”

Matt walked in and said, “Tell them about intention!” They all looked at me, so I gave a little lecture on intention in that kitchen. I’ve never had more eager students.

Matt and Liza celebrate their marriage anniversary every year and I still hear from them. When I do, it always reminds me of the true power of real communication. And especially the power of intention. I’ve seen people lose their hopes and dreams for the lack of it, and I’ve seen the impossible happen because of it enough times to know its true power.

The power of intention gives you power to be causative.

Intention is the power to create the reality you want. It is a power you hold within you, right now, even as you read this.

What you do with that power…how well you learn to use it…how big you choose to dream because of it…those are the questions that matter.

Be the cause!