How do you deal with cultural differences?

Before the lockdown, my organization had delivered our in-person programs in 30 countries on just about every continent around the world.  Throughout the USA, Europe and Asia.

We’ve added 20 countries and more continents since the lockdown, for a total of 50 countries. We’ve had success in every single one of them.

“How do you deal with cultural differences?”

We’ve been asked this question almost every week for over 30 years.

I’m going to let Martin, one of my recent workshop students, answer this question. Martin has a new global role and is now required to communicate with executives and professionals around the world.  Martin comes from a culture that’s very passionate, expressive, and warm.  He was having trouble with people from a culture he perceived as stubborn, uncommunicative, and cold-hearted.

After the class, I emailed Martin to check and make sure that participating in our workshop had answered this question for him to his satisfaction.  He sent me an email that said:

“One of my key takeaways from the training is that to be an effective communicator, you have to see each person as the human they are, regardless of their appearance, origin, religion, etc.       Yes, you answered it.”

I think Martin captured something truly profound.

To see each person as the human they are.

All I can add are three thoughts that come from my international experience.

First, once you decide everyone in the country is a certain way, you’re going to miss a lot. You can say, “French people are this way”.  But there are vast differences amongst all French people. If you give me a room of 30 French people (and I’ve had many), they will each be so unique, so very individual.  If I lump them all under one label, I’m not going to see each one of them for who they truly are.

Labels are easy.  They fool you into thinking you don’t need to look.  They make you think, I’ve got you labeled.  I know all about you.  But then, look at all you miss.

Secondly, what makes me successful internationally is that I teach things that unite all human beings, those human qualities that create bonds and know no borders. There are many of them.  Don’t be fooled by the fact that we may have very different ways of expressing these things.  Mainly what makes us different is our education in manners…those can be wildly different and they’re good to know so you don’t offend.

Yet, all of us, all of humanity, want to be understood.  Understanding unites us.  It doesn’t matter where it happens or who it happens with, real understanding results in bursts of affinity and happiness that are universal.  Bursts of affinity that lead to exceptional moments, friendships, partnerships and collaborations.

Third, what Martin learned in the workshop, what I teach and what he writes about, is the real breakthrough.  It’s the ability to tune in to the person in front of you.  To stop the mental noise going on in your head and simply and really tune in to them.  To really see them.  To really hear them. 

When you tune in, you know.

This is something no words can express.  Tuning in to another person is an experience.  It’s one of the most amazing experiences there is.  It’s one of my most favorite things in the world.

It’s not hard to do.  You have a natural ability you can activate any time.  You simply start by deciding to do it.

Once you really tune in, the right words naturally “come” to you.  They just come.  Suddenly you “know” what to say.  It’s rather magical.

Yes, we have different cultures.  I’m Lithuanian. Believe me, we have our ways!  (Laughing!) But we’re not all “the same.”

What’s most important to remember is that labels are small.  People are big. 

Each person is unique.   Each person creates their own unique world, their own unique universe filled with creativity, ideas, dreams, beliefs, desires.  Discover that person’s world.  Step into their universe.   

Do that and there won’t be anyone you can’t talk to.

I can tell you stories of international travel, of people who didn’t want to talk to me, of facing groups of people around the world who didn’t trust me, of the time a European senior exec told me right before our workshop started, “We’ve heard good things about you, but frankly I need to tell you my group is afraid to work with Americans.”  My stories all end with the bonds and friendships I have formed simply by using the three principles above.

You don’t have to travel far to try this. You can do it with the person in the next room or someone several continents away.

Tune in.  Really tune in to this person. Focus on what brings you together. That will IGNITE understanding between the two of you.

What will happen when you choose to truly see the unique human in front of you and deeply appreciate that unique being?

That person will never look at you the same way again. And neither will the rest of the world.

And that will be the beginning…

Be the cause!